As we journey through life we are presented, each of us, with complex questions, difficult problems, and needs that often require professional support and gentle guidance to resolve life's many mysteries, twists, and turns. It is through our exploration of our selves and the world that we live in that we continue to evolve and grow and make a peaceful and happy life possible. Not just for our own self but for those we love and the generations to come.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Loving Ourselves Unconditionally

Love yourself into health and a good life of your own.
Love yourself into relationships that work for you and the other person. Love yourself into peace, happiness, joy, success and contentment.
Love yourself into all that you have always wanted. We can stop treating ourselves the way others treated us, if they behaved in a less than healthy, desirable way. If we have learned to see ourselves critically, conditionally, and in a diminishing and punishing way, it's time to stop. Other people treated us that way, but it's even worse to treat ourselves that way now.
Loving ourselves may seen foreign, even foolish at times. People may accuse us of being selfish. We don't have to believe them.
People who love themselves are truly able to love others and let others love them. People who love themselves and hold themselves in high esteem are those who give the most, contribute the most, love the most.
How do we love ourselves? By forcing it at first. By faking it if necessary. By "acting as if". By working hard at loving and liking ourselves as we have at not liking ourselves.
Explore what it means to love yourself.
Do things for yourself that reflect compassionate, nurturing, self love.
Embrace and love all of yourself- past, present, and future. Forgive yourself quickly and as often as necessary. Encourage yourself. Tell yourself good things about yourself.
If we think and believe negative ideas, get them out in the open quickly and honestly, so we can replace those beliefs with better ones.
Pat yourself on the back when necessary. Ask for help, for time; ask for what you need.
Sometimes, give yourself treats. Do not treat yourself like a pack mule, always pushing and driving harder. Learn to be good to yourself. Choose behaviors with preferable consequences- treating yourself well is one.
Learn to stop your pain, even when it means making difficult decisions. Do not unnecessarily deprive yourself. Sometimes, give yourself what you want, just because you want it.
Stop explaining and justifying yourself. When you make mistakes, let them go. We learn, we grow, and we learn some more. And through it all, we love ourselves.
We work at it, then work at it some more. One day we'll wake up, look in the mirror, and find that loving person has become habitual. We're now living with a person who gives and receives love, because that person loves him or her self. Self love will take hold and become a powerful force.

May 25 Melody Beattie "The Language of Letting Go"

Gina's addendum:

People do not always appreciate it or love us when we keep healthy boundaries. It is fairly common for people to be angry and blame you and attack you for being unloving of them or selfish because you set healthy boundaries.
We do not do this for them, we do it for ourselves first. That it will help them make take them sometime to see.

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